In The Atlantic's May issue, Andrew Giambrone published "When Emotional Intelligence Goes Wrong." Here you can read it. But already you know much of how the EI-skilled boss or client can manipulate. Or at least try to.
Counteracting that force can be as easy as being passive-aggressive. Incidentally, in the book "Making Conflict Work," Peter T. Coleman and Robert Ferguson give the okay to PA tactics.
For example, the client takes evil pleasure in assuming he has the option to continually phone us. His administrative assistant puts through the calls, lending an air of power to the whole nuisance. The presenting reason for the call can range from brainstorming to even praising us.
Hey, the guy may like to hear himself talk or may be lonely. I had one of those about five yeas ago. Here is my trailer for the novel I published on a composite of that type Download Linktovideotrailerfornovel. And, here are two chapters of the novel "The Fat Guy From Greenwich" Download FGFGchapters1,2
A cagey EI response is to seem appreciative, rather than annoyed in any way, about all the opportunities to discuss matters. For the aggressive type, you can even begin calling him, with supposedly good ideas about the initiatives. You bet, the miscreant becomes puzzled. The behavior may actually stop.
A more direct EI approach? Explain how helpful the phone conversations are. But, introduce the financial reality that the time is billable, in 15-minute increments. Send a contract along to lock that expense in.
For those who love the game of observing and experimenting with EI, those Machiavelli characters in our work life provide the most fun workouts. It's like having a tennis match with a deceptive opponent.