Throwing shade is a necessary process to maintain mental equilibrium in this Dickensian work world.
Those who don't do that could find themselves staring out the window of a Manhattan high-rise one Monday morning ...
But, in this litigious society, so many of the usual moves to throw shade could result in being sued. A defense lawyer costs a bundle. The damages possibly more so. Gawker found that out when it threw shade on Peter Thiel.
No, we can't even mutter in public that we are considering legal action against that thug of an employer, client or co-worker. Should we not sue, the miscreant could sue us for alleged defamation.
Those of us who travel in the circles of the mentally healthy, though, have learned ways to right part of the wrongs we perceive done us and still steer clear of legal trouble. The tactics range from a moment of silence to well-practiced facial expressions to being an influencer on social media.
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Ducking defamation lawsuit
Sandbagging a professional with a negative reference just isn't done any more. Those in the loop are too fearful of being sued.
But, suppose headhunter ABC calls us about our nemesis XYZ. When the name comes up, we have a moment of silence. That will be the loudest sound resonating through the cell towers.
Usually the seasoned headhunters will then make it their business to try to dig.
A specific question is asked: What was Joe's performance at the law firm?
The form of damning answer is an evasive one: I really wasn't familiar with his work.
The next question would be: Can you give the names of those who were?
That is the ideal time to provide the contact information of his other enemies. With enough stonewalling, headhunters get the message. Their brand and revenue depend on supplying employers with excellent hires.
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Like Hamlet, seeing words words words as burdensome
The treacherous co-worker is presenting an idea at lunch in a long-winded manner. We catch the eye of an ally and roll our eyes when we realize the powers-that-be's attention is on us. Our facial expression is preoccupied with other things. Our body language is distant from the table.
When the powers-that-be later ask us for feedback on that idea we first hesitate. Then when pushed to speak, we choose our words carefully. They are positioned and packaged as one professional's opinion. We can throw in condescending terminology such as "well-meaning."
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Doing more cautious version of a Susan Fowler
It was Susan Fowler's blog post which shook Silicon Valley in general and Uber in particular. She took on risk. Both legal and professional. But all has worked out for her.
We can do the same sort of thing but w/o the risk. Those who have become influencers in social media can describe a situation from their perspective (hammer that is opinion) and provide facts for which they have evidence.
Several months ago, I did just that through one of my syndicated blogs. I perceived that the PNC Bank financial advisers had given me unhelpful guidance. I also presented evidence that there had been a mistake on their part that had cost me interest.
Both Investor Relations and Compliance contacted me by phone. Within hours of my posting. There was an apology. In addition, my account was reimbursed for lost interest and additional funds were deposited for the inconvenience I had endured.
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So many spiritual organizations and schools of psychology preach forgiveness.
But first, I have discovered, that before we can forgive institutions and human beings, we have for forgive ourselves for having gotten into those soul-wearing situations. When I take action, which doesn't elicit legal push-back, I can start on letting myself off the hook.
Capitalism is based on individualism. When we suffer, that ideology pins the causality on us. So, to exit that whole enchilada we have to right the situation, on our terms.
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