This is what normal human beings get drunk over. But, since my wiring is frayed and I can't safely ingest alcohol, I can't forget for a little while what a sensitive companion Carlotta had been for 16.5 years.
Our lives came together when I agreed to be a foster mother for her litter. She was Havana Brown and the four of them were black. At the time I had moved to Connecticut but was still volunteering at the SPCA in Manhattan. Someone has found her on the mean streets of Manhattan. He ribs were showing. Yet she had been struggling to nurse her little ones.
Back at my condo in Connecticut, Carlotta continued to be a wonderful mother. She had help there from coal-black Jason who I had already adopted from the Humane Society in Monmouth County, New Jersey. The two hit it off. I decided that I had to adopt Carlotta also. They continued to be helpmates and soulmates over all these years.
Last week I discovered an internal lump on Carlotta's side. I made an appointment with the vet for later this week. She was fine. Then darkness fell quickly. Yesterday she began hiding and stopped eating. At the VCA Foxon Animal Hospital, East Haven, Connecticut, Dr. Linda Colburn explained how we can diagnose if the lump was not a tumor - cost-effectively. I was relieved that I gave Carlotta that one last chance. No, it wasn't "something else." We discussed if I wanted to maintain her for a couple more weeks. I had done that before, in 2004, with 13-year-old cat Sarah with pain patches. In retrospect I recognized that I was doing it for myself. And her sick presence upset the rest of the animal family at my house.
Jason is very sad. He sniffed around the empty cat carrier. We curled up on the couch together, as we probably will do many days in the next several months. Attending to his grief lessens my own. Carlotta taught me how to give of myself. That's not an easy behavior for a writer to pick up.
On Thursday night I will go to my 12-step meeting and detail how I am getting on the other side of this loss without a drink.





Thx für diesen sehr schönen Thread! Ich habe es wirklich genossen :) Ich mag es sehr. Sie sind für Brände, die brennbare Metalle, wie Magnesium, Titan, Kalium und Natrium beinhalten. Diese Arten von Feuerlöschern haben auch keine numerische Bewertung, noch sind sie eine Mehrzweck-Rating gegeben - sie sind für Brände der Klasse D ausgelegt.
Posted by: nike air jordan 5 | May 21, 2012 at 04:28 AM
Sorry to hear about the loss of a dear companion. As a 12 stepper myself, I understand your battle - stay strong and remember the good memories.
Posted by: Daveclark | February 22, 2012 at 03:12 PM