In 12-step programs, from the get-go they warn us that there will be suicides. When it comes to the sorts of things human beings join 12-step programs for, the options are do it right, or kill yourself, go insane, or spend most of your life in prison.
Warned, yes. But we were not prepared for the suicide of one of our members in a North Haven, Connecticut 12-step group. Seven days a week he was at a meeting. He gave out anniversary coins at the Thursday evening meeting. He talked the good talk, which maybe should have tipped us off that he was in trouble. That included saying he was managing the blow that during the divorce process, his former wife had lost her job. At their age, there would not be a comparable one. So, he was saddled with alimony he did not expect to pay. He worked that out to protect his pension. The financial horror could become less horrible when his daughter, who he was helping pay for her Master's degree, received it this month.
Last night at our Monday night speaker's meeting we found out that he had committed suicide. Perhaps he did not share his suffering enough? Perhaps two years in the rooms were not enough to get a handle on that suffering? Whatever. The disease of alcoholism claims another fine human being.